On Friendship

I used to be so concerned that I didn’t have any lasting friends, through thick and thin. My wife does! She has ladies she can text at any moment and they will respond. They share things, heavy and light. I have never had that in the same way because that’s not how guys do friendship.

Men need to be shoulder to shoulder doing something productive. This could be a Bible study, sure, but more effectively for most guys is something physical. Go help a friend work on his house. Go camping or hiking. Men want to follow someone who’s going somewhere and men want to make the most of their time.

I was meeting weekly with a buddy for coffee (not that I drink it!). His schedule changed, and so I was on my own. I invited another guy who I knew would join me. He is about twice my age, but he was willing! At first, I wondered if this would last or be worth it. You don’t typically see a guy my age hanging out with a retired gent, you know. What could we possibly have in common?

As per the usual, my expectations were wrong. It’s probably best not to have expectations at this point in life anyhow. The Lord used our time, and since then, we’ve worked on my yard, car, and a buddy’s house. He and his wife helped us host weekly potlucks for our church this past summer. We’ve discussed problems with ourselves, our families, our church, and society. We’ve challenged and encouraged one another. In short, I’m a better husband, father, and friend due to our time together.

Don’t look out there into the internet ether for comparisons, faithful reader. Those friendships are mostly fake. Rather, be friends with the person who’s willing. The person you see regularly. The person you can go do something with. Over the Rhine says, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It stole my joy for sure; don’t let it steal yours.