The Truth in Love

My pastor recently said something to this effect: it’s just best not to ever read into anyone’s motives. Wise words. This doesn’t mean we can’t judge the actions someone takes. Jesus does tell us to judge with correct judgement. It does mean that, if we can find a decent reason why a person did that stupid thing that he or she should not have done, we give the benefit of the doubt.

This helps your heart too. If you are judging everyone’s actions to have malintent, you won’t escape bitterness toward that person. Bitterness is poison; you should want nothing to do with it – ever. One thing that “love believes all things” means is to believe the best in a brother or sister in Christ. Try to find a way.

Example: when the wife sees someone flying down the street or running a red light, she thinks: maybe someone’s in labor. Try to find a way that your heart can accept to avoid bitterness. Could it be that this runaway renegade was just being selfish? Yes. But you’re not God, so you can’t know for sure.

Yet another way to think about this: if you were put in this person’s exact position, with all the information he has at his disposal, you’d probably make the exact same decision. You don’t know everything that the person in the situation knows, so don’t try! Just try to find a reasonable explanation for the sake of your heart, then go with it. To do more is to play God.

What does this have to do with “truth in love”? Well, so often we judge the person speaking, when we shouldn’t. “Yikes! That was harsh.” Well, by what standard was it harsh? How do you know it was harsh? Is it wrong to be harsh? Was Jesus harsh?

Good questions. I think we are so ready to come to the defense of the one “attacked” that we avoid giving the benefit of the doubt to the one speaking. Boldness will be demonized in today’s culture. Maybe he was being bold. Maybe the sin this person was calling out requires a specificity that our culture isn’t comfortable with. Maybe, just maybe, the person speaking knows something about the intended audience that you don’t. And this is what drove him to say x or y.

It’s easy to give the benefit of the doubt to Luther or Calvin (both harsh at times); they’re dead after all. It’s harder to give the benefit of the doubt to the living. We think it’s easier to see their sins.